Everyone Needs A Cheerleader!

The things a man has to have are hope and confidence in himself against odds, and

sometimes he needs somebody, his pal or his mother or his wife or God, to give him

that confidence.

—Clark Gable

                                                                                                             Image from Microsoft Clipart

This quote by Clark Gable is a great reminder to us, to tell people when they do something "good".  Many of us grew up in a culture where praise was not practised, and where criticism was the norm.  I hear so many of my clients talk about the scorn heaped upon them by mother, father, teacher, older sibling, or even grandparents.  The whole "you have got to do better" mentality, it seems, was created in an era when children went out to work and even marry in their early teens.  Most of them did not complete school much past grades eight to ten, and where those with low self esteem verbally "beat up" others to make themselves feel superior. 

Even the dictionary recognizes the multiple interpretations of criticism.  The following definition comes from http://www.yourdictionary.com/criticism.  Note that the third meaning is "the act of finding fault".

criticism Definition  criti·cism (krit′ə siz′əm)  noun

1. the act of making judgments; analysis of qualities and evaluation of comparative worth; esp., the critical consideration and judgment of literary or artistic work
2. a comment, review, article, etc. expressing such analysis and judgment
3. the act of finding fault; censure; disapproval
4. the art, principles, or methods of a critic or critics
5. the scientific or scholarly investigation of texts or documents to discover their origin, history, or original form

Our society as a whole, does a really good job of finding fault.  In fact, if we don't have someone or something to blame or to find fault with, in any given circumstance, we seem paralyzed and unsure how to continue. 

Could you be a good cheerleader?  Could you go around finding all the neat things that your child, spouse, co-worker or neighbours are doing, or have done?  Do you have what it takes to instill confidence in someone?  Since we are on some self analysis, let's ask these questions. How do you go about telling someone, especially a child, spouse, co-worker or neighbour, that they haven't done a particularly good job of something and yet give them the confidence to keep working at it?  Are you doing a good "job" of helping those around you stand in their power?

Looking at Gable's quote, I realized how lucky I have been in my life. I have learned much about cheerleading from my sisters and my brothers.  Each time I have taken a new step, regardless of how risky it seemed, my siblings were the first to call me and cheer me on.  In turn, as the oldest, I work at "being there" to support them, and listen supportively to their journeys, as they have listened to me.  I love that they will say, "You can do this! How can I help?"  Having cheerleaders makes each new task or venture that much easier to tackle. 

My friends are also some of the best cheerleaders that I know.  Again, they are supportive and will come up with questions starting with "Have you thought about...?"  Once we have discussed the issue, and the odds, they too are quickly ready to support me and offer help. 

The head cheerleader for all that I do is my husband, Roger.  He tries to make everything flow more easily, and he is quick to compliment!

I realize that with all the new businesses that I have started and all the tough jobs that I have taken on, there is one truth. People with cheerleaders are well equipped to tackle anything!

I wish you many cheerleaders in your life.

Namaste,

Judy 

(www.angelsandancestors.com)