Tuesday, 17 October 2017

Healing - Ability to Heal Ourselves

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Healers have been telling the world for the last several hundred years that each human has the power to do self healing.  The medical profession has disagreed, saying that if one is not medically trained then the patient cannot possibly heal themselves.

In a recent article http://returntonow.net/2017/07/16/placebo-effect-proves-can-heal-minds/, the writer lists several experiments that show individuals do the healing, rather than a form of medicine.

From the article:

In a documentary called The Power of Thought, stem-cell biologist Dr. Bruce Lipton estimates at least a third of all healings – including those involving drugs, surgery and all other allopathic treatment – have nothing to do with the treatment itself, but everything to do with the patient’s belief in the treatment.

The placebo effect, as defined by Google, is a “beneficial effect, produced by a placebo drug or treatment that cannot be attributed to the properties of the placebo itself, and must therefore be due to the patient’s belief in that treatment.”

What this means is that you can find a way to heal an ailment.

Remember, the information in this blog  is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider for a medical condition.

Namaste.

Sunday, 15 October 2017

Healing - Changing Your Self Talk

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We all have a running dialogue with ourselves.  The key is to make sure that the dialogue is positive and reinforcing.  Unfortunately, many of us have a negative self talk where we berate ourselves or punish ourselves with words.

The following exercise comes from http://self-compassion.org/exercise-5-changing-critical-self-talk/

Changing your critical self-talk

This exercise should be done over several weeks and will eventually form the blueprint for changing how you relate to yourself long-term. Some people find it useful to work on their inner critic by writing in a journal. Others are more comfortable doing it via internal dialogues. If you are someone who likes to write things down and revisit them later, journaling can be an excellent tool for transformation. If you are someone (like me) who never manages to be consistent with a journal, then do whatever works for you. You can speak aloud to yourself, or think silently.

  1. The first step towards changing the way to treat yourself is to notice when you are being self-critical. It may be that – like many of us — your self-critical voice is so common for you that you don’t even notice when it is present. Whenever you’re feeling bad about something, think about what you’ve just said to yourself. Try to be as accurate as possible, noting your inner speech verbatim. What words do you actually use when you’re self-critical? Are there key phrases that come up over and over again? What is the tone of your voice – harsh, cold, angry? Does the voice remind you of any one in your past who was critical of you? You want to be able to get to know the inner self-critic very well, and to become aware of when your inner judge is active. For instance, if you’ve just eaten half a box of Oreo’s, does your inner voice say something like “you’re so disgusting,” “you make me sick,” and so on? Really try to get a clear sense of how you talk to yourself.
  2. Make an active effort to soften the self-critical voice, but do so with compassion rather than self-judgment (I.e., don’t say “you’re such a bitch” to your inner critic!). Say something like “I know you’re worried about me and feel unsafe, but you are causing me unnecessary pain. Could you let my inner compassionate self say a few words now?”
  3. Reframe the observations made by your inner critic in a friendly, positive way. If you’re having trouble thinking of what words to use, you might want to imagine what a very compassionate friend would say to you in this situation. It might help to use a term of endearment that strengthens expressed feelings of warmth and care (but only if it feels natural rather than schmaltzy.) For instance, you can say something like “Darling, I know you ate that bag of cookies because you’re feeling really sad right now and you thought it would cheer you up. But you feel even worse and are not feeling good in your body. I want you to be happy, so why don’t you take a long walk so you feel better?” While engaging in this supportive self-talk, you might want to try gently stroking your arm, or holding your face tenderly in your hands (as long as no one’s looking). Physical gestures of warmth can tap into the caregiving system even if you’re having trouble calling up emotions of kindness at first, releasing oxytocin that will help change your bio-chemistry. The important thing is that you start acting kindly, and feelings of true warmth and caring will eventually follow.

Namaste

Friday, 13 October 2017

Healing - Letting Go of Toxic Situation

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Life is about exploring new things, practicing skills to become masterful at them, and its about meeting new people and having new experiences.

What do you do if your life has a toxic situation in it – for example a toxic person or toxic group? Well, you need to let go of them.  How do you recognize these people? 

Qualities of a Toxic Person

Life coach Cheryl Richardson describes five types of toxic qualities in people:

  • Blamer (keeps complaining)
  • Drainer (always needs you and contacts you only when he needs you)
  • Shamer (keeps criticising you)
  • Discounter (discounts or challenges everything you say)
  • Gossip (keeps talking about others at their back)

If he/she is any or all of the above, you just get him/her out of your life, please. (From https://thoughtcatalog.com/surabhi-surendra/2016/08/this-is-how-you-let-go-of-a-toxic-relationship/)

Why You Need to Let A Toxic Person Go

The following advice comes from https://tinybuddha.com/blog/letting-go-of-unhealthy-relationships-and-rediscovering-yourself/.

If you, like me, have considered letting someone go, ask yourself these questions:

How do you feel in their presence: drained or alive? Does the person always have your best interests in mind? Do they belittle you when you share your feelings? Do they make promises and never follow up?

If you answered yes to the final two questions, it might be time to move on to make space in your life for healthy, happy relationships.

The Process of Letting Go Of A Toxic Relationship

(From https://tinybuddha.com/blog/letting-go-of-unhealthy-relationships-and-rediscovering-yourself/)

1. Express your feelings in a letter.

Focus on one relationship that’s draining you and write a letter to the person you want to let go. Pour out your feelings onto the paper. The letter can be as long or short as you want.

End the letter with, “I release you across all space and time. Thank you for helping me learn and grow.” Fold the paper, burn it, and bury it in the ground to signify a complete release to the universe. This particular ritual is magical. I instantly start to feel lighter.

2. Clear your physical space.

Physical cleaning is so helpful when you are letting go of the past. Our physical space is a representation of what we’re giving space in our life.

Sell or donate any gifts you received, and burn any letters from the person you’re tying to let go. You’re going to face a lot of resistance; you’ll come up with reasons to hold on to these things. Remind yourself that this crucial to moving on and feeling happier with yourself and your life.

3. Get clear on what you need.

Write down how you want to feel in your life and within your relationships.

This is how I want my life and relationships to feel:

  • Alive
  • Filled with laughter
  • Supportive
  • Loving
  • Understanding

If you’re not sure how you want to feel on the whole, start with just the immediate future. How do you want to feel this month?

4. Start filling the empty space.

Now that you’ve created space by releasing unhealthy relationships, write a list of activities that will help you feel and experience your desires. For example, you could join a dance group to feel alive.

Put a little time into your passion every day. Writing makes me come alive, so I make sure to write daily.

As you start dedicating time to things that are important to you, the right people will come into your life—people who see and appreciate you for who you really are.

~~

Namaste.

Wednesday, 11 October 2017

Healing - Releasing Resentment

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It may seem to readers that have been following this blog for the past couple of days that the theme seems to be SELF LOVE.  That is true.  However, there are so many aspects to the harm that we do to ourselves that we need many ways of undoing the harm, and many ways to promote healing.  One of the most common destructive emotions I see in clients is resentment.

I like this exercise on releasing resentment.  It appears in many books and articles.  The exercise write up comes from the blog http://indigointentions.com/a-quick-exercise-to-dissolve-resentment.htm

Dissolving Resentment

Dissolving resentment can be simple, not easy but simple. One of the best exercises I have used in my own life and offered to my clients is an exercise that Louise Hay shares in her book, “You Can Heal Your Life” and she point out that this is an old Emmet Fox exercise that helps to dissolve resentment. Since it helps to dissolve the resentment, it will also help you in forgiving others and in forgiving yourself.

  • Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths and when you feel relaxed, imagine yourself in a special place. This special place can be anywhere that your imagination takes you, perhaps somewhere in nature or to a special forgiveness room that you can return to again and again when doing forgiveness work.
  • In the spirit of forgiving others, think of someone who you resent in some way or someone who has upset, hurt or offended you. See this person sitting in front of you, at a distance that feels comfortable to you. If for any reason it is not comfortable for you to invite this person into the sacred space that you have created with your imagination envision them behind a wall of glass or in a room across from yours or see them on the TV screen, be creative and do what feels comfortable.
  • When you see this person clearly, visualize good things happening to this person – things that would be meaningful to him. See him or her smiling and happy. Hold the image for a few minutes and then let it fade away.
  • Now take a moment to do the same for yourself. Once the image of the other person fades, see good things happening to you. See yourself smiling and happy. Feel how good this feels. Close your session with gratitude.

Remember, the information in this blog  is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider for a medical condition.

Namaste.