Life is about exploring new things, practicing skills to become masterful at them, and its about meeting new people and having new experiences.
What do you do if your life has a toxic situation in it – for example a toxic person or toxic group? Well, you need to let go of them. How do you recognize these people?
Qualities of a Toxic Person
Life coach Cheryl Richardson describes five types of toxic qualities in people:
- Blamer (keeps complaining)
- Drainer (always needs you and contacts you only when he needs you)
- Shamer (keeps criticising you)
- Discounter (discounts or challenges everything you say)
- Gossip (keeps talking about others at their back)
If he/she is any or all of the above, you just get him/her out of your life, please. (From https://thoughtcatalog.com/surabhi-surendra/2016/08/this-is-how-you-let-go-of-a-toxic-relationship/)
Why You Need to Let A Toxic Person Go
The following advice comes from https://tinybuddha.com/blog/letting-go-of-unhealthy-relationships-and-rediscovering-yourself/.
If you, like me, have considered letting someone go, ask yourself these questions:
How do you feel in their presence: drained or alive? Does the person always have your best interests in mind? Do they belittle you when you share your feelings? Do they make promises and never follow up?
If you answered yes to the final two questions, it might be time to move on to make space in your life for healthy, happy relationships.
The Process of Letting Go Of A Toxic Relationship
1. Express your feelings in a letter.
Focus on one relationship that’s draining you and write a letter to the person you want to let go. Pour out your feelings onto the paper. The letter can be as long or short as you want.
End the letter with, “I release you across all space and time. Thank you for helping me learn and grow.” Fold the paper, burn it, and bury it in the ground to signify a complete release to the universe. This particular ritual is magical. I instantly start to feel lighter.
2. Clear your physical space.
Physical cleaning is so helpful when you are letting go of the past. Our physical space is a representation of what we’re giving space in our life.
Sell or donate any gifts you received, and burn any letters from the person you’re tying to let go. You’re going to face a lot of resistance; you’ll come up with reasons to hold on to these things. Remind yourself that this crucial to moving on and feeling happier with yourself and your life.
3. Get clear on what you need.
Write down how you want to feel in your life and within your relationships.
This is how I want my life and relationships to feel:
- Filled with laughter
If you’re not sure how you want to feel on the whole, start with just the immediate future. How do you want to feel this month?
4. Start filling the empty space.
Now that you’ve created space by releasing unhealthy relationships, write a list of activities that will help you feel and experience your desires. For example, you could join a dance group to feel alive.
Put a little time into your passion every day. Writing makes me come alive, so I make sure to write daily.
As you start dedicating time to things that are important to you, the right people will come into your life—people who see and appreciate you for who you really are.